10 Things

Reasons I'm Crushing On YOU!

1. Your gorgeous smile
2. The amazing color of your eyes
3. The fact that you are always happy
4. You know how to laugh
5. More importantly- you know how to laugh at yourself
6. Your body (and how all of your clothes seem to fit to perfection)
7. That you told me I was the coolest person here
8. You don't judge others... unless its necessary
9. Your loud and somewhat obnoxious laugh
10. Because I know I can't have you

So there is this guy at work- You know how every now and then you see someone who is hot and you pray to god that they have a shit personality or some sort of STD because it seems a crime for any one person to be that heart stoppingly gorgeous- Yeah he is one of them... only to add insult to injury he has the most amazing personality I have ever encountered. Admittedly I am very shallow and superficial when it comes to who I like but this guy- I know to some degree of absolute certainty I would still have some kind of crush on him even if he was ugly. 

Its almost like being around him is an addiction.

Of course he is straight! He also has a girlfriend who might I add, is not all that attractive. I can't decide if the ugly girl loses him points for having poor taste or triples the ones he has because he is obviously in it for her personality which means he isn't shallow?

His last day at work is next Wednesday and I think I will find work just that little bit more unbearable once he is gone... 

DESPERATE

Dear prospective employer,

It has recently been brought to my attention that you may be having some reservations about employing me.

Sleep easy friend! This letter is here to expel any doubt from your tiny brain. In fact, by the end of this letter I would not be surprised if I have you questioning your own decision making capabilities. I implore you, dear friend, not to feel bad for not hiring me already- it is an easy mistake to make... however one that should only be made once! There are three key factors which I believe (quite emphatically) set me apart from every other Joe looking for a job.

Number Uno:

I am SO desperate for a job that I will work long hours and not complain. Make me your bitch- have me up all hours of the night running your errands, typing up your reports, ANYTHING. I am somewhat desperate and willing. 

Number Dos:

I am willing to take a pay cut. At this point I am happy if my wages only cover my rent and food expenses. Im not sure if you are quite grasping just how desperate I am... Let me put this into perspective for you; Most employees are looking for $45,000+ per annum- I spend $60 a week on groceries and $140 on rent... this means that in a whole year I am spending  $10,400 on necessities. I can undercut any applicant by a good $30,000 a year.

Number Three:

In lieu of a bonus structure/incentives scheme I would be more than happy to perform sexual favors. You are 82 and I am 22 - there is a good 60 year between us... lets face it I am the best you are going to get. Are you beginning to fully understand how desperate I am?  

Now that you are clear on just how serious I am about filling this vacancy I have taken the liberty of clearing my schedule for the remainder of this week for training and induction. 

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for considering me for this position and I look forward to working with you.

Love always,

DR 

So I came home from a night out last night with a big hickey on my neck and I have no recollection of getting one... and also have not even an inkling of who may have given it to me... I hope he was hot!

Sick to my Stomach

Okay so I read this blog "Just Another Teen Wanker" and although I find the validity of some of the stories questionable I still like to read it. Its like watching a trashy American sitcom almost- "Like sangs through the hourglass so are the days of our lives".

The thing that has gotten me about this is the most recent Saga- basically Mark is seeing new beau Deen and Deen seems to be a nice guy- that is until Mark find out that the uncle that Deen has been spending time with is some old creep who pays him to clean his house naked and one condition is that he has to try and stay hard for as long as he can while he does it. 

Im a little disturbed by the story because I hate that there is that kind of depravity out there- Im not as disturbed because I doubt it is true. The thing that gets me is the responses to the initial post where Mark calls Deen a rent boy and voices his outrage at the situation. Basically every comment makes this a non issue and some even go as far as being on Deens side in the matter. Obviously these people think its real otherwise why bother commenting right? What kind of fucking message do they think they are sending to the gay community when they condone suck sick behavior? 

Now in his latest post he has decided that it is not such a bad thing and that he himself would consider doing it himself. Sure I get that this probably isn't a real situation- but what if it was and all of these perverted bloggers out there are rooting for this kid to whore himself out? 

In true DR style I have something to say about the situation, admittedly I was a little drunk, but reading my comment I think my stance is presented in a pretty clear cut manner:

Just going back and reading some of the comments on your last post and to be honest dude they kind of made me angry... Gays world wide are fighting to drop this stereotype of being promiscuous- Yes I understand that Deen is not having sex with this guy but it is perverted all the same. Presumably you are both quite young? And Presumably this guy is quite old? (if not old- old in comparison) Why the hell then are so many people condoning what is happening by just pretending that it is a non issue- This guy should be old enough to know that what he is doing is perverted and wrong and Deen should have enough self respect to know that he is being exploited. 

Gay or not- this is definitely an action of a sexual nature. I mean come on- he has to stay hard for as long as he can in this guys house- are you kidding me?! Just because he is not having sex with this guy doesn't mean it isn't on the cards in future. 

I am sickened that no one is trying to stop you from being with this guy or better trying to encourage you to get Deen to stop seeing his "uncle". Im sickened even more by the fact that you were A) told to calm down and B) told by someone that you were "blowing this out or proportion", that they were "kind of on Deens side", asked if you were "willing to give up on your buddy because he has a side job?", to try not to be "too judgmental about Deens 'arrangement'", told not to "take it too seriously", that you "have no reason not to trust Deen", . What kind of example are we setting for our younger community? 

I don't think this has been flown far enough out of proportion... Proportionally this issue has been shrunken by the ignorant and irresponsible. Deen needs to get a wake up call and maybe youre the one to give it to him? I also hate this this has been boiled down to something as common as a side job! I also cant figure out why you have no reason not to trust him... not only did he lie to you but look at what he was doing behind your back! Maybe these people want you just to be happy with Deen but to be honest- better to do something about this now than to let is fester and REALLY get hurt

Condoning this kind of behavior is setting back our community decades in the progress we have made to lose these stereotypes.

Would love to hear YOUR take on the situation!!

love, 

me

Cock Suckers R Us

Me: "Fuck Sam Evans has the sexiest lips in all the land"

Auntie Cole: "You get those kinda lips from suckin' cock!"

Me: "God I hope so"

Auntie Cole: "Thats how Angelina Jolie got hers... from sucking' the cock"

Me: "And that's why hers are all slack and saggy now..."

Auntie Cole: "Coz' she stopped suckin' cock"

SUUUPER excited! There is a very real posibility that I am about to start a bidding war between two prospective employees for my john hand-cock on their dotted line. Finally someone wants to hire me! Watch this space as I may be moving VEEEEERY soon.

Love
Me xo

Soon to be 22!

Well I have upped my game well and truly on this running biz! I am now planning out on my naked man calendar how many kilometers I need to run and have upped my running to 5 times a week with one day of speed training in there. I also went and got my sunning analysed at a local spots shop and it turns out I do all kinds of crazy shit with my feet when I run which explains the fucked ankles and bad shin splints.

I dont really know what else to say... work is still shit! But I may have a job interview soon for a similar role but on the same wage as my boss so keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!!

Oh its my birthday on Sunday!!! I dont think I have anything planned at the moment. Being on this health bender I dont want to go out drinking and ruin all my good work... I have managed to lose 5kg in 2 weeks so I've reached my half way mark in half the time I intended to reach it yay me.

LOVE

Me

P.S. I TOTALLY almost forgot- I got a reply from "she cunt" about her crappy staff. It was very minimal and polite. I thought that was either quite diplomatic of here or shes too fucking stupid to realize when someone is having a laugh at her expense and challenging her abilities. Anyway here you go my sweets:

Hi DawnRaver

Thank you for notifying me of this – I have passed onto our communications team to rectify.

 I very much appreciate your email.

 

Kind Regards,

She Cunt

No Really... Go Fuck Yourself

Okay so I have drafted the email to this hopeless she bitch and her useless team of "Marketers and Communicators" and it goes a little something like this:

Dear She-Cunt,

Forgive the lateness of this email. I had planned to bring up this point should I have been given the chance for an interview. However I feel that it is only sporting for a young Communications Graduate, whom has hands on experience in developing successful social media campaigns, to point out to you that the current Facebook page that your shitty attempt at a Museum employs is currently in violation of this platforms' 'Statement of Rights and Responsibilities'. 

To save you the hassle of trying to figure out where exactly this page has gone wrong I have taken an excerpt from Facebook's Help Center/FAQ's  page:

"The account I created to promote my business, band or other organization is now disabled.

Per our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities, Facebook profiles must represent an individual. Users aren't permitted to maintain an account under the name of their organization, or use personal accounts to advertise or promote themselves professionally. If your profile was listed under a non-individual name, or was used primarily for professional promotion, this is probably why it was removed."

(Please refer to: http://www.facebook.com/help/?search=can%20personal%20profiles%20be%20used%20to%20promote%20a%20business?)

In simple terms, this means that in signing up with Facebook all users agree that "Profile" pages are to represent individuals only and Facebook actually reserves the right to close any page without notice should there be any violation. Facebook also states in their 'Statement of Rights and Responsibilities' that accounts closed at their discretion may not be reopened without express permission.

I hope this information helps to clarify this problem for your Communications team. Now the challenge has been identified I am sure your team will be more than capable of rectifying this simple Social Media faux pas. If you have any further queries regarding this matter, please do not hesitate to get in contact with with me.

Regards

DawnRaver

Not as rude as the one I sent my boss- But I like to think its a little antagonistic and condescending- This may not bother her as much as i want it to but hey it makes me feel better...

Love

Me

Go Fuck Yourself!

Sorry guys! I have been meaning to post again but I am away for a long weekend and haven't really had a chance too because I have been catching up with my family which has been nice- I have made the decision to make more of an effort this year at keeping in touch with old acquaintances, friends and family.

So you are probably wondering about the title of this post... Well it starts off like this:

Before X-Mas last year I found this AMAZING sounding job that I thought I was perfect for. I spent three weeks working closely with my old boss (who has not only had a hand in recruitment but also has a husband who works for a recruitment agency) constructing the perfect CV coupled with the perfect cover letter. Never before had I put so much effort into one document; not even if it meant passing or failing a paper at Uni. so I think you can kind see how serious I was about this job.

Finally half way through my first week back and I get the go ahead from JB to send in my masterpiece. I get it in two days before the applications officially close so I have a minimum four day wait (weekend in between) to see if I even get a foot in the door. 1 week and 1 day later and I get a letter in the mail- something along the lines of:

"Dear DawnRave,

Thank you for your application for the position of Marketing and Communications Position. Unfortunately we will not be requiring you to come in for an interview. We chose to send you this via letter as we are not up with technology enough to send you an email and we are too chicken shit to phone you and tell you ourselves. 

Enclosed you will find some pamphlets on our organisation for your perusal so that you can see all that you are missing out on because we honestly dont think you are good enough to work for us (hence the reason you did not get an interview).

Best wishes for all of your future endeavors,

The cunts form the place youre to crap to work for"

Basically the "Go Fuck Yourself" was aimed at this shitty place... not because they didnt hire me, or even interview me of that matter. The "Go Fuck Yourself" is because they had the audacity to stuff the envelope full of propaganda for their place- leaflets about whats on and what they do etc etc. To me I find that the height of corporate rudeness. Its like saying "We dont want you but come and visit us anyway" or better still "Youre not wanted here but youre so pathetic that you will still probably want to come and visit in the hopes of running into someone from recruitment and try begging them for a chance"

Basically I hate this place now for that simple fact... I know that is probably now how they intended this to be perceived but like it or not that how it was. So my next move from here is to hold my head high and keep applying for as many jobs as I can find. This may even mean moving, which I think is kinda sad because I really love where Im living and this shitty city is kind of growing on me now... but what I also plan to do is anonymously fuck said companies whole social media campaign since its not done properly and is in violation of the terms of the platform they are using. If the platform doesn't close it down as they should when i notify them then I will send said company an email pointing out their fuck up and the fact that the person they are paying to do this job (i.e. the she bitch that wouldnt give me an interview) is basically being paid for nothing and needs to be fired or demoted and also point out that by not hiring me they made possibly the biggest mistake of their lives... and they when they beg me to come and work for them I will simply send them a letter similar to the one they sent me and stuff it with a flyer that maps out my plans for the next few months and see how they like it....

Rant over and I needa go- MamaRave needs needs to use the computer.

Love

Me

xo