Saturday, May 14, 2011

So this is how it goes down

Okay so this is how my night went down last night:

I got home from work at five and remembered that I promised Nicole that  I would go with her to the vet slave auction (some kind of fundraiser). So we leave at 6 with Lauren and pick up some of Nicoles friends on the way - Duncan, Sam, and Big Gay Ray. Because I had decided earlier on that I want to have a sober month I had made the move towards not drinking. Nicole had made that same move as she has a lot of study to do. So we get there and I very quickly feel socially awkward and seek alcohol to remedy the situation- 8 beers in (I was buying them 4 at a time) and I decide that I may as well make a night of it and keep going. This was around the time that they started auctioning off a prosthetic leg which I began to bid for (you can never be too prepared right?). LUCKILY I didnt win because it went for $200 to my friend Sarah. Anyway we make it to town and Im pretty sure Iv managed to offend every person in the car - for some reason Im going through this faze of being really mean to people when Im drunk. In particular Sam because he was giving me a creepy vibe and wouldnt stop asking me questions about my life. So I was like "fuck you talk a lot of shit" after he told me I looked like I could be in the new video clip from LMFAO because of my 'look'... What do we think??? Insult or compliment? Im still not 100% sure. Anyway we head to the Beer Barrel and down what Nicole and I have dubbed the "Quick Cum In Your Pants Before You Fuck Me" (QCIYPBYFM) which is a story for another day but is based on an unfortunate situation Nicole found herself in... anyway is Tequila and Bayleys - sounds gross right? SURPRISINGLY NOT!

Anyway this goes on for a while drinking and being a total loser lol. I had the best drunken chat to Sarah about how we need to hang out more etc etc you know the usual drunken D&M's that you get on a night out. And then I spotted this chick who was obviously a big lezzy and basically forced her to become my bestie for the rest of the night. So I dragged her off to the gay bar because she had never been and I seem to always end up there. Chris was there Ilian and you will be surprised to know that I was extremely couteous. So I basically danced like a madman for a few hours with this chick (who I dont even know her name at this point) and then I see Scott from One 4 All and have a yarn and then Zachary and drag him up for a dance... and then we made out a bit which was a bit of a surprise but not all bad lol.

Then my friend Lee turns up and at the end of the night we end up going back to her place... We sat and got high for a bit and then I got in an argument with her flatmate because I didnt believe he had the job he said he had... he was claiming to have a pretty sweet job but he just looked thick as shit lol so after offending him I taxid home.

I wake up this morning to Nicole bursting into my room asking me if I wanted breakfast... Three things happened at once here that surprised me.

1- Nicole waking me up
2- Zachary was next to me
3- We were both naked

So turns out we slept together... until like 6 in the morning coz I remember my alarm going off and interrupting lol.

I found out later from Nicole that she bought a guy home that I got in a fight with in first year because he called my sister a slut. So anyway she called him on it and basically called him a dick which made me happy. What also made me happy was the fact that she said he had a small dick and was a crap root- she also has his credit card still!  So it turns out this guy Dan was at the auction too and I was going through my phone this morning and this was the message I sent my sister "You remember that guy that you slept with that I got in a fight with that I hate... hes gonna get raped by a gay guy" - for the longest time I was worried that the 'gay guy' Iwas referring to was me and I was somehow planning to take him against his will- thankfully Nicole was able to shed some light on that and turns out Big Gay Ray (the dirty sleaze) was hitting on him quite obviously all night.

... then I had KFC and took the dog for a walk and I now dont plan on leaving my bed for the rest of the weekend...

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