The WORST date in HISTORY

So I had my second date with Azza today and it was THE single most crap date I have ever been on in my whole entire life!!!! I kind of cant be bothered to type it all so I thought I would give you a copy of my Facebook chat to my friend Jai (who I had a thing with once a while ago)- NB Jai has a hary ass and I would never go "there" again- but he is a really good friend now...

ME: so the date was a otal awkward nightmare!

JAI: omg

ME: total*

JAI: I was just thinking of u lol

ahaha

What happened?

do tell!

ME: aw I bet ur were you little mynx lol

well I was hungover when we best right so my percetion was already fucked but he picked my up and gave me this real awkward hug that was inappropriately tight

then we got to dinner and he was boring as hell so I had to force conversation the whole time

JAI: I need a full name.

ME: then when we had finished dinner the waitress brings over a plate of chocolate and shes like "this is from Thai and Jarred" or what ever Thais partner is called and Im like OMG super awkward- I dont even know these people (they were hi friends Thai was the one who got Diane from my work to set us up)

and the poor waitress looked so awkward

then I made up some bulshit excuse about how I had to help the neighbor wrap xmas presents tonight so that the date would be cut short

JAI: LMFAO!

ME: he drops me home and I thought I had escaped without another awkward and kinda gross hug I got two feet away from the car and he was like

JAI: awwwwwkward turtle!

ME: "I wanna give you a hug"

this was at the end of my drivewy and IM thinking I dont want all the neighbors to see so I was like "ok you can walk me to the door"

we get there and yet another anavoidable shitty hug and he goes in for a kiss on the cheek and then somehow scrambled his way to my lips and im like in totaly shock- too shocked to move

it was honestly like kissing a fish

JAI: omg fullname place

please*

I wont tell!

ME:so I kinda pride myself on being good at kissing (most of the time)

im not finished

lol

so I try to make the most out of a shit situation and see if I can illicit some kind of decent kiss out of him and I got NOTHING he was so gross

when he left i ran inside to my bathrrom and brushed my whole mouth out and changed my shirt immediately to get the smell off him

then i get a txt like half an hour later "wow that was amazing. I had a really nice time tonight I hope you did too. I cant wait until tuesday"

now I have to make up some excuse about not seeing him on tuesday coz I kinda till feel gross

ME: his name is Azza Something

JAI: ewww

u can do much better

ME: lol I think I only did it to get Dee off my back coz she wouldnt stop going on about him

on a positive there was a cute waiter working at the restaurant so i had something nice to look at

I still feel really gross though

but thanks for thinking I can do better lol

JAI: ya u can

x100

he looks uhh

ME: lol

JAI: boring!

OMG OMG

ME: FUCK he was boring as hell

AND so concludes another interesting chapter of my life- How could I have ever thought he was so amazing??? Was I drunk for the last two weeks?!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!