But what happens when you find one day that some of your younger and more immature staff have been making comments about your sexuality behind your back?
This is the position I find myself in. From what I have heard plenty of my staff are quite happy with who I am and how I manage but it has grabbed me more that I thought it would to have these comments made about my private life. I understand that this is something which shouldnt interfeer with our professional relationship and I am going to try my hardest to look at these people only as employees and not the individuals who make such nasty comments about me. How would you deal with this?
I am the kind of
I think Im right in keeping my personal life my own unless I am asked- but maybe this isnt the best way to do business? Maybe its easier (not nessecarily better) to simply lie through ommission? I have told a few of my close colleague whom I know outside of work but perhaps I should have lied or answered the question in a round-about way?
Your thoughts...
xo
Hi Raver,
ReplyDeleteIn my office, people usually greet each other on Mondays by asking how each other's weekends were. And many responses were like: "Oh, I had dinner with my girlfriend's parents", or "I went to a fishing trip with [insert' her husband's name] and his friends at this lake, thus the sunburn".
These statements do reveal the gender of their love interests, but they are not sex life ranting. I think they are work-appropriate.
They are NOT like "Oh, last weekend I banged three brunette chicks Amy, Mya, and Yma" or "My husband came only after 2 minutes, I think he should go for sex therapy". Which are... about sex life. I think these would be inappropriate.
Thus, I think "telling my colleagues that I (a boy) spent my weekend with my boyfriend on a road trip" does not fall into flaunting my homosexuality as much as my straight colleagues were not flaunting their heterosexuality.
I am very glad that people in the office are comfortable about sharing their personal lives. It makes coming to work like coming to see your friends. Less dreadful, more relaxed, and more personal.
Working from 8-to-5 and sometimes 6 or 7pm (financial analyst role), I am happy that after finishing work, I don't feel like my socialisation needs unmet and my energy drained.
Regarding your comment from your immature staff... It was spoken behind your back, so you must have heard it through someone else.
I would suggest to let others defend you and shun him for his cowardice and bigotry.
Confronting him is not only risky as:
1. He might turn out to be innocent and never said such things.
2. He might have said something about your sexuality but not in demeaning manner, it was just misconstrued and passed on inaccurately.
Even if he was guilty, there is little proofing, and it might make the one who tip you off in a bad position.
However, if he said those things in your presence, or make derogatory comments about someone else's sexuality, you would be obliged to shun him on the spot, and then ask him to speak privately to discuss the matter.
Look out if your responsibility as a manager includes creating a workplace where everyone feels comfortable and respected. If that is one of your duty, then you must take actions.
Failure to do so may be perceived as condoning his actions, especially if he is under your line of supervision. There might be other gay people in your workplace, those whom you might not know, who might feel uncomfortable with his comments.
Your case is a little tricky cause you are the victim yourself. Just watch out for his other comments. Once he trashes other person, he's yours for taking. Hehehe...
Hey man! Thanks for the comment!! I have decided to just ignore it. Spoke to good old ma and pa and dad has had the same kind of situation before (not the whole gay thing obviously) where someone he worked with had been gossiping behind his back and he said the best thing to do would be ignore it. Also I was reading my profile and it basically says that I am easy going and I think I kind of forgot that if that makes sense- this isnt something that would normally fuck me off so Iv decided that im not going to let it :D
ReplyDeleteHope you had an awesome weekend xo