HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR

Hey beautiful people!!!

So I have finally managed to sneak on to mums computer... Yes I am back home visiting the folks for a bit- and I wanted to wish you Happy X-Mas and New Years!

I thought I would catch you all up on what I have been up to so Xmas we had up the east coast with my dads family. Thank god I had brought Paz with me- shes the kind of person that makes everything fun. Easiest thing for me to do... and Im guessing the least boring for you would be to bullet the highlights since there wasnt much TOO exciting going on:

• 6 hour trip Xmas eve up the coast
• 3 hours into the drive we decide we are going to do a half marathon in March
• 4 hours into the drive we decide that we need to prepare for this by doing a 2 month detox
• We arrive and I have to do introductions for Paz and all the family I havent seen in at least 5 years
• I introduce Paz to my Cousin and his wife
• Turns out his wife is actually a cousin
• I proceed to get extremely drunk to live down the embarrassment
• Paz and I decide I have 2 hot cousins
• I would do them both if we werent related (Is that wrong?)
• We decide that one of the hot cousins is a snob
• We decide that his fiancee is equally a bitch
• Xmas lunch and I have to sit by the cousin who I thought was a wife of a cousin
• Boxing day and we decided to get away by booking a fully day of tennis, kayaking, snorkelling, and bush walking
• 30 mins into tennis we decide we are shit and give up
• We do our 45 min bush walk in over an hour
• We decide we are too fucked to do either snorkelling and kayaking
• Day after and we cant take it any more so decide to pack up and go camping around the coast

Okay so we decide to camp on the lawn on this backpackers for 15 bux a night which sounds really shitty but actually ended up being quite fun! Our neighbors were 5 Irish girls halfway through a world tour... needless to say we drank alot both nights we were there. The second night we got a bit sick of the backpackers because we had some oyung neightbors move into the dorm next to ours so we decided to go out for a drink- lucky we did because we found out the next morning through eavesdropping that the girl (whom we dubbed Sue) who had gate crashed a boys weekend ended up throwing up in the fridge in their dorm.

That day we decided we had had enough and moved a bit further up the coast. By this time I had been thinking just how fucking horny I was since I havent had a root in a couple of months now!! Thank god for the privacy of cubicle showers!

We head down the centre for New Years and I manage to get a friend to sneak in last night for a QF which is making me feel a lot less tense... was going to go for a run tonight now since I can actually focus on something other than my penis... turns out I left my fucking shoes in the car that Paz took home! not just my running shows but ALL my shoes which means Im barefoot for the next week until Im back home!!!

Anyway Im not sure if this post actually makes any sense or is actually that interesting but I think I just felt the need to just write!

Oh PS was meaning to tell you this so I sucked this guy AAAGES age like maybe 2 years ago and we have kept in touch via SMS but I cant really remeber him or what he looks like (or his name :S) anyway I got the dutch courage on NYE to ask him for his name and  I finally got a partial name like how some people like Bartholemue would call himself Bart kinda shit... so naturally I facebook stalked the contracted name plus last name and turns out this guy I have been dirty SMSing the last 2 years was sitting next to me in graduation this year and I was normal as since I had no idea who he was and im pretty sure he knew who I was! HAHA trust me!

Anyway thats it from me xoxoxox

First Sexual Encounter

So I figured I was getting a bit boring so I was chatting to my friend Woody about it and he said I should post about my first 'sexual experience'. I was thinking about it a little more and I can categorize this into two separate occasions (three if I wanted to count the time I first took it up the butt- and four if I count the first time I smashed a guys arse- haha fuck thats a disgusting way to describe it, Ive been around Joey too long!!!).

So I have slept with three girls in my short 21 years. Which was enough to know I was gay... Let me tell you! I think one would have sufficed but you know how sometimes you just have to double or, in my case, triple check to make sure. The funny thing about this is that I told Shaneinei about my blog the other week and now she reads it- We are both still close friends with the girl who stole my virginity. 

Ive known Kay since I was about 13 but we didn't really become friends until a year later. There was a whole group of us (I cbf making up names for everyone). Funnily enough I was the only guy which, to me was normal as hell. Didn't really come across that way to many of the other guys I went to school with. You would think that having only girl friends would be an early indicator that I was gay but Im not even entirely sure I knew what 'being gay' meant back then. So all of us became quite close -and as "cool underage teens" do- we used to drink together on the weekends. You know how every group of friends seems to have that one kid with the cool parents that would let a tribe of teens inhabit their come for the weekend and not blow a gasket if they all got drunk- Well we had Slam who lived with her grandparents. 

It had always been a secret dream of mine to lose my virginity before I was the legal age to do so (16 in this country)- on this fateful night- Kay and I had waaaaaay too much to drink and were making out by the pool- at one point I think I almost fell in (I'm almost 100% positive Shaneinei had to be helped out a few times). Anyway the whole ordeal was very clumsy. She had shaved her vag like a week prior so everything was very prickly- being a virgin she was also tight as a nuns cunt- I struggled to get inside even though for most of it doubt I was even hard enough to do any damage (I couldn't tell afterwards if this was because I was so drunk or the fact that I found vagina a huge turn off). We went at it for a good 30 minutes trying all different positions (mainly who ever felt the drunkest at the time got to be on the bottom)- There was a bit of moaning and heavy breathing from Kays end- I don't think it finished, more that we both kind of gave up. 5 mins after we had given up I was head in the toilet going for Africa (again not sure if it was drunkenness or disgust at the thought of my tongue in a vagina). I think we can both chalk the whole night up to being a big failure- I did get a nice SMS from her the next day saying she was glad it was me- I hope now she doesn't count it as her first time- If she does than i think I set the bar remarkably low for all of the guys to follow. 

Now on to my first ever encounter with a guy- I do vaguely remember playing doctor with a boy from up the road in primary- but at that age I don't think you can call it sex... more education. So my first ever experience with a guy- I am a little ashamed to say- was with a complete stranger. I didn't and will never know this guys name. It wasn't rape or anything like that. Quite the opposite- I was 16 at the time . I dont quite remember how I got this guys number but he was 27. At the time I didn't find this strange, but looking back it is a little pedo. Its also probably the reason most of the guys I got for now are close to that age range. Anyway- he didn't live in my home town but was 45 mins away. He was passing through one night at about the same time I was due to finish work (I was a supermarket bitch at the time). 

We SMS'd each other the whole time I was in work and decided on a place to go. It was some random park near a river one the way out of town that we both had to drive past to get to where we were heading anyway- So i drive up there in my poo brown ancient-as-fuck Pugeot 323 and hes already there waiting. 

I think I was the instigator of the whole thing once he jumped in my car- He tried to make small talk and in my excitement I just kind of blurted out (which I will never forget) "Are you going to take your pants off now?"- Well it didnt take him long to get the message. 

Keep in mind this was the first time- since the age of 5 at least that I had played with a cock that wasn't my own so I spent a good bit of time touching and examining. At 16 of course he was a lot bigger than me and I remember being shocked at how big it was. I just assumed that that was the standard size of a grown cock but thinking back now it was a good 8 inches long and one of the thickest ones I've wrapped my lips around. All of a sudden I found my hear between his legs trying to fit his monster in my mouth. I thought I was a bit of a pro at cock sucking at the time... Turns out I've learned a few things in my time. But the head I was giving for the first time must have been good because he came pretty soon. I don't know if it was instinct or shock but I swallowed the whole load as well. I had a bit of a chuckle to myself because I he then apologised for being so quick to which I said "I'm actually kinda stoked coz' my mouth was getting sore". (Funny thing is Ive now lost count of the amount of guys who have apologised for cumming to quickly- Yet I have never had that problem). 

It was then my turn and being so excited about the whole thing I almost came with him just undoing my pants! Luckily I manages to regain composure and hold of a lot longer than he did- the guy swallowed too which was good because it would have been hard to explain a mess in my car! Once he was done playing with my dick in his mouth he tried to start the whole small talk game again and I gave him the hurry up by saying "Yeah.... well I'm gonna go now... so..." It was kind of awkward because he didn't seem to get the hint at first. I remember getting nervous on the drive home that I would get there and my parents would smell cock all over me- I did make a conscious effort not to breathe too closely to them!

To this day I will never understand why people feel the need to make small talk before a booty call. You're not a fucking sales person- you don't have to build any kind of rapport to make a sale- If I showed up I showed up to get down not to talk about the weather and how my fucking day went. In fact, if its a booty call- my day is the last thing I want to talk about, which is why I want to have some uninhibited, no strings attached sex!