First Sexual Encounter

So I figured I was getting a bit boring so I was chatting to my friend Woody about it and he said I should post about my first 'sexual experience'. I was thinking about it a little more and I can categorize this into two separate occasions (three if I wanted to count the time I first took it up the butt- and four if I count the first time I smashed a guys arse- haha fuck thats a disgusting way to describe it, Ive been around Joey too long!!!).

So I have slept with three girls in my short 21 years. Which was enough to know I was gay... Let me tell you! I think one would have sufficed but you know how sometimes you just have to double or, in my case, triple check to make sure. The funny thing about this is that I told Shaneinei about my blog the other week and now she reads it- We are both still close friends with the girl who stole my virginity. 

Ive known Kay since I was about 13 but we didn't really become friends until a year later. There was a whole group of us (I cbf making up names for everyone). Funnily enough I was the only guy which, to me was normal as hell. Didn't really come across that way to many of the other guys I went to school with. You would think that having only girl friends would be an early indicator that I was gay but Im not even entirely sure I knew what 'being gay' meant back then. So all of us became quite close -and as "cool underage teens" do- we used to drink together on the weekends. You know how every group of friends seems to have that one kid with the cool parents that would let a tribe of teens inhabit their come for the weekend and not blow a gasket if they all got drunk- Well we had Slam who lived with her grandparents. 

It had always been a secret dream of mine to lose my virginity before I was the legal age to do so (16 in this country)- on this fateful night- Kay and I had waaaaaay too much to drink and were making out by the pool- at one point I think I almost fell in (I'm almost 100% positive Shaneinei had to be helped out a few times). Anyway the whole ordeal was very clumsy. She had shaved her vag like a week prior so everything was very prickly- being a virgin she was also tight as a nuns cunt- I struggled to get inside even though for most of it doubt I was even hard enough to do any damage (I couldn't tell afterwards if this was because I was so drunk or the fact that I found vagina a huge turn off). We went at it for a good 30 minutes trying all different positions (mainly who ever felt the drunkest at the time got to be on the bottom)- There was a bit of moaning and heavy breathing from Kays end- I don't think it finished, more that we both kind of gave up. 5 mins after we had given up I was head in the toilet going for Africa (again not sure if it was drunkenness or disgust at the thought of my tongue in a vagina). I think we can both chalk the whole night up to being a big failure- I did get a nice SMS from her the next day saying she was glad it was me- I hope now she doesn't count it as her first time- If she does than i think I set the bar remarkably low for all of the guys to follow. 

Now on to my first ever encounter with a guy- I do vaguely remember playing doctor with a boy from up the road in primary- but at that age I don't think you can call it sex... more education. So my first ever experience with a guy- I am a little ashamed to say- was with a complete stranger. I didn't and will never know this guys name. It wasn't rape or anything like that. Quite the opposite- I was 16 at the time . I dont quite remember how I got this guys number but he was 27. At the time I didn't find this strange, but looking back it is a little pedo. Its also probably the reason most of the guys I got for now are close to that age range. Anyway- he didn't live in my home town but was 45 mins away. He was passing through one night at about the same time I was due to finish work (I was a supermarket bitch at the time). 

We SMS'd each other the whole time I was in work and decided on a place to go. It was some random park near a river one the way out of town that we both had to drive past to get to where we were heading anyway- So i drive up there in my poo brown ancient-as-fuck Pugeot 323 and hes already there waiting. 

I think I was the instigator of the whole thing once he jumped in my car- He tried to make small talk and in my excitement I just kind of blurted out (which I will never forget) "Are you going to take your pants off now?"- Well it didnt take him long to get the message. 

Keep in mind this was the first time- since the age of 5 at least that I had played with a cock that wasn't my own so I spent a good bit of time touching and examining. At 16 of course he was a lot bigger than me and I remember being shocked at how big it was. I just assumed that that was the standard size of a grown cock but thinking back now it was a good 8 inches long and one of the thickest ones I've wrapped my lips around. All of a sudden I found my hear between his legs trying to fit his monster in my mouth. I thought I was a bit of a pro at cock sucking at the time... Turns out I've learned a few things in my time. But the head I was giving for the first time must have been good because he came pretty soon. I don't know if it was instinct or shock but I swallowed the whole load as well. I had a bit of a chuckle to myself because I he then apologised for being so quick to which I said "I'm actually kinda stoked coz' my mouth was getting sore". (Funny thing is Ive now lost count of the amount of guys who have apologised for cumming to quickly- Yet I have never had that problem). 

It was then my turn and being so excited about the whole thing I almost came with him just undoing my pants! Luckily I manages to regain composure and hold of a lot longer than he did- the guy swallowed too which was good because it would have been hard to explain a mess in my car! Once he was done playing with my dick in his mouth he tried to start the whole small talk game again and I gave him the hurry up by saying "Yeah.... well I'm gonna go now... so..." It was kind of awkward because he didn't seem to get the hint at first. I remember getting nervous on the drive home that I would get there and my parents would smell cock all over me- I did make a conscious effort not to breathe too closely to them!

To this day I will never understand why people feel the need to make small talk before a booty call. You're not a fucking sales person- you don't have to build any kind of rapport to make a sale- If I showed up I showed up to get down not to talk about the weather and how my fucking day went. In fact, if its a booty call- my day is the last thing I want to talk about, which is why I want to have some uninhibited, no strings attached sex! 

What a Weekend!

Had such a great weekend!

So Friday night starts off with an awards night for the 'industry' I work in- sounds kinds snobbish and boring right? Well- I got to finish at three and started drinking straight away. My date came round at about 4- Dizzy- shes so HOT! Shes like my height (6foot 2) and is a model from the UK. On top of that she has recently discovered her love for drinking so we were a well matched pair.

Anyway drinking as we were getting ready- Diz took a bit of time (as girls do) so I got drunkenly swinging on the stripper pole in the lounge for  a good 45 mins- Anyway she gets ready and we rock up to this cocktail bar in town where everyone from work is meeting before we go to the awards- Their reactions were priceless! They weren't talking very much anyway (bunch of boring cunts) anyway I open the door and me and Diz walk in arm in arm and they all turn and their Jaws drop! I LOVE HAVING HOT FRIENDS.

Anyway they all seem to scared to talk to us (mainly because of how smokin' Diz is) so we neck our drinks and wander to the awards alone. The awards themselves were boring but the MC was a famous comedian who I got to meet and have photos with- we then later harassed the shit out of him for not coming out clubbing with us.

Went out clubbing which was the same as usual... nothing much to report there.

Joey from my work stayed at my place that night FUNNIEST thing- I'm all drunk and strip down to my underwear to get comfy after being all dressed up for the awards- Joey Diz and I are pretty lax and have no problem being that naked around each other. About half an hour into us being home this guy that been stalking her for the past year tells her hes waiting down the street to make sure no one comes over to "fuck the shit out of her" (his words not mine).  Iv had runs ins with this guy before so I went mental in my drunken half naked state and pulled out a kitchen knife and sat outside waiting for his car to drive past so i could go out and slash his tires> I think he caught wind of this from Joey and didn't come down.  5 mins later Joey's booty call parks up and gets out (turns out HE WAS there to fuck the shit out of her). He was soooo sexy and here I am sitting on the front steps with a knife in my hand and later to find out my left nut was hanging out- Fuck I'm pure class!

Anyway long story short- Diz watched her first gay porn film that night and Joey and her booty call fucked all over our lounge and very loudly!!!

(this is the one we watched)

Saturday rolls along and I get a call from Rob asking me if I'm going out tonight- I was kinda horny and feeling dirty but was too hungover to go out so I told him to come and stay. This is where it got hot for me- He then tells me hes off to a Toga party at the gay bar in town and I ask if hes going to be wearing the Toga back to mine and he says yes. I then ask "Minus underwear?" and he gets all shy like he does and goes on about class and how its not classy- Just as I'm about to reply saying something along the lines of "who needs class with an ass like yours" he replies "But fuck it- its not like I'm a classy guy anyway". So he says to me "Ill slip them off when I get to your bedroom" (Already told him I would leave the door unlocked for him) and I was like "Fuck that- take them off in the taxi on your way over"

... Needless to say it didn't take very much convincing! 4 o'clock and up he rocks briefs in hand draped in a sheet. Was a GOOD night.

Then; since I seem to do everything backwards- Sunday naturally being the day of rest I went crazy on the gardens did some mad shopping and to top it all off went for the longest run I've done in about three years! Pretty please with me right now!

Tis all from me! Hope you're weekends were fabulous! xoxo

DINNER

What a night last night!!! So we had this staff dinner I organised for my team last night at this BYO place in town. There was a big group of us- we booked for like 17 people I think it was. Anyway we get there and the place is surprisingly nice inside- It was a Chinese place called Kens Kitchen- Ken being the chef and the owner. 

Ken needs a lesson in good customer service. The funny thing is we all work in the customer service industy so we are all quite picky about the customer service we get especially when we are out in groups. Our waitress was lovely- I think she was quite new because she seemed very nervous. Anyway we get to ordering - some of us were running late so we decide to just go ahead since its a huge group and a relatively small kitchen. This is where Ken comes out and he looks like MR Miyagi's fucking cousin (wrong country I know but the look related) and is basically like "Where is the rest of your party?" and I was like "a couple of them are running late but they will be here in like 5 mins" so he storms off back to the kitchen and we continue to order- he comes out like 2 minutes later and tells the waitress to tell us that it is now a $17 minimum (loud enough so that we can hear) - and we were like- this is kind of shit but okay. 

THEN he comes out again and is like "Tell them they all have to pay up front- I dont trust them" so the poor waitress comes over and shes all "The chef has told me to tell you that you all have to pay up front". I was like "fuck this! Were leaving- tell your boss that he can go fuck himself." We all told the waitress she was lovely but that her boss was a complete fuck. So off we went- thank god there was another BYO place up the road. I went in and I was like "Hi ...ummm.... weve got like a party of 17 and we just left Kens kitchen cos he was really rude to us- would we be able to fit here somewhere?" And they were like no problems. And the service there was amazing. 

Shitty thing for ken was that we didn't see anyone else go in to his place the whole night and there was only about 6 people in there when we were there. He just lost out on a fuckload of money- I ended up spending like $120 on starters and shit for my staff at Cuba. What a fucking douche- Almost makes you want to write a letter to the local paper!!!

The night was amazing- I was so drunk I ended up home at 1 (but I must point this out- it was my second night in a row AND the first night I got home at about 5:30 so I think I deserved an early one)... anyway ended up head in the toilet for a couple of hours when I got home- nedless to say this whole day has been a bit of a struggle for me! Now Im off to sleep

Night night xo

Life lessons

So i learned a valuable lesson at work today. One which I didnt expect to learn- but I guess thats what you get from not letting things bother you.

The situation at work today has escalated to a whole new level and I am faced with an excruciating swallow of pride tomorrow. So the full story:

We have this new lady Dee at work who is doing extremely well. She is a new addition to a team of about 13 people. Now the 12 who have been there for a while now have take exception to that fact that she is doing well and have turned the smallest personality trait of Dee into a vehicle of ridicule and just downright childish bullying and cattiness. They have taken to making up a code name for this thing that Dee does and have started making comments about this when she does it so the "doesnt know theyre doing it" ... They're very obvious about what theyre doing however and people had started to comment about it- Being the manager I decided to step in and pull the main offenders out and have a meeting with them- lets nickname these people Moyra, Rash, Slam, Jackie, Alana, and Stripper. I pulled them out for this meeting and was quite firm with them. Lets be honest I was downright horrible to them. Stripper didnt like that she was getting in trouble even though she was the nastiest of them all and took to yelling at me during the meeting. Anyway come Monday  (thankfully Stripper doesnt work until Thursday) the rest were still licking their wounds- I had a meeting with Dee to discuss how this thing she does has made some people feel and nicely asked that she stop. This was extremely hard for me because Dee is an amazing employee and has every right to do what she does. Dee's a smart lady and picked exactly what this was about and where it had come from and was distraught and asked to go home for the day and also hinted that she wasnt sure she would like to come back which to be honest is extemely fair.

Anyway i told my boss what had happened and she pulled the whole team in for a meeting about what they had done and how they have basically bullied a woman so much into thinking so little of herself and of the place that she works that she is considering not coming back. The meeting then turned into a bitch about me and how I handled the meeting on Friday. I normally wouldn't have been this harsh on anyone but they needed to get the message!   So at the end of the meeting my boss says that my team would like an apology from me for being harsh on them on Friday... well that was it- I was so furious that they have the audacity to ask me for an apology that i had to go home.

I am struggling to justify in my head giving these people an apology for "being mean" when essentially what I made them feel in that meeting is nowhere near as bad as they made this one lady feel.

I still havent quite come to terms with what I am going to do tomorrow but for the sake of getting them all to shut the fuck up and stop being such petty little bitches I am going to have to swallow my fucking pride the way I would swallow a HUGE cock and apologise.

It has to be said though... Stripper needs a swift foot to the cunt because shes really cunty and will make comments about me just loud enough so I know shes talking about me but she will get sorted tomorrow because my boss is getting sick of her shit stirring also and is going to have a meeting with her. THANK GOD for good bosses though! She lives across the road from me and left early today so she could come and have a wine with me and talk me through my stress and plan my attack on tomorrow. I dont think I could do this without her support!

Anyway the lesson I learned? I hear you ask... At the end of the day- Cunts always seem to get what they want no matter how wrong they are... The point? I hear you query... Go through life being an absolute cunt! If it gets you what you want then why the fuck not?

xo

THE NEXT DAY_

Okay so I did it and it was like getting my ass spanked by someones grandad (it made me want to vomit). Dee came back which is good but I still am quite angry about the whole situation. FUCK THE LOT OF THEM! :D

La vida loca

,Hey kids!!

So turns out I'm a pretty shifty blogger!

New in my life- I have been researching America more... I'm thinking that I will go on camp America and teach horse riding and see how I like the country and go from there... Sound like a good plan??

Also turns out that the ex's best friend that I was sleepin with has now become a bit creepy slash clingy... I still kind of want to fuck him but I'm having an ethical issue... Do I keep stringing him along to get what I want- I mean at the end of the day he did lie to me... Plus I think he may have a bf now... Who has also been an asshole to me in the past. Do I fuck both of them over to get what I want? Or do I be the bigger person and leave them to it? One is most definitely more fun than the other... Possibly a coin toss moment.

Also I need some advice on other boy related matters.. If a guy comes back to stay after a night in town and you spend the whole next day together and the boy suggests that you go to the movies together soon- what are the chances tha he likes you? I would have thought a bit high... But then we decide to just watch a mvie at my place and he comes over and doesn't try to make any kind of move... What's the deal then??? He's fucking sexy and I think I like him but I don't know if he likes me back and I'm not in to making myself look like a cunt in public So I don't really want to outright ask... HELP!

Anyway just a quick one today... I have to babysit tonight woohoo lol

hope you are all swell

loves xoxox