Guess Who Got Laid!!!?

Woohoo- and yes it was as angry and rough as I had anticipated. But to be honest I couldn't really give a fuck- I got what I wanted... I'm sure he got what we wanted and we managed to keep it quiet (always a bonus when there are peoples rooms adjoining 2 of my four walls). 

Work sucked just as much as I thought it would today. We have stopped doing the missing persons reports for Christchurch and another center has taken it over which is good news for us- I think it was starting to take its toll on a lot of our staff... But then just when I thought all the stress in my life was over with a big fuck more shit seems to hit the fan:

• My car needs to be registered
• To register my car it needs to pass its Warrant Of Fitness
• Its warrant has been expired for about 1 month
• The washing machine has broken
• Im pretty sure I missed my doctors appointment
• Im almost 100% sure I made the appointment in my sleep
• Spent the whole of Sunday cleaning and gardening today for our house inspection
• Bought a $200 vacuum cleaner and a $200 lawn mower to help with the cleaning
• I couldn't make it to the inspection because I had to work
• The landlords handed us 1 months notice to move out

All in all a shitty few weeks... In other news I'm thinking of starting to Vlog. I have fallen in love with otherijustine and Toby Turner and they make me want to vlog. But I'm also having one of those downer buzzez where I don't have many followers and I feel like I'm talking to one or two people- I hate to feel like a shameless self promoter but part of this blog was to meet new people and I feel like I haven't met anyone in a while SO if you have a blog and you like to read mine... heck you don't even need to like it... or read it- Rephrase that- if you know how to get to my blog or have just stumbled upon it by some kind of happy coincidence please post a link on your page- if you let me know I would be more than happy to do the same for you :D

Also you may have seen the link to Best Male Blogs over there >>>>> if you do read please go and vote for me :D

DESPERATE

Dear prospective employer,

It has recently been brought to my attention that you may be having some reservations about employing me.

Sleep easy friend! This letter is here to expel any doubt from your tiny brain. In fact, by the end of this letter I would not be surprised if I have you questioning your own decision making capabilities. I implore you, dear friend, not to feel bad for not hiring me already- it is an easy mistake to make... however one that should only be made once! There are three key factors which I believe (quite emphatically) set me apart from every other Joe looking for a job.

Number Uno:

I am SO desperate for a job that I will work long hours and not complain. Make me your bitch- have me up all hours of the night running your errands, typing up your reports, ANYTHING. I am somewhat desperate and willing. 

Number Dos:

I am willing to take a pay cut. At this point I am happy if my wages only cover my rent and food expenses. Im not sure if you are quite grasping just how desperate I am... Let me put this into perspective for you; Most employees are looking for $45,000+ per annum- I spend $60 a week on groceries and $140 on rent... this means that in a whole year I am spending  $10,400 on necessities. I can undercut any applicant by a good $30,000 a year.

Number Three:

In lieu of a bonus structure/incentives scheme I would be more than happy to perform sexual favors. You are 82 and I am 22 - there is a good 60 year between us... lets face it I am the best you are going to get. Are you beginning to fully understand how desperate I am?  

Now that you are clear on just how serious I am about filling this vacancy I have taken the liberty of clearing my schedule for the remainder of this week for training and induction. 

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for considering me for this position and I look forward to working with you.

Love always,

DR 

So I came home from a night out last night with a big hickey on my neck and I have no recollection of getting one... and also have not even an inkling of who may have given it to me... I hope he was hot!

MFM threesome... Sure why not!

Okay so I have been a bit shit lately so I guess I have a bit to catch you guys up on.

Number one- The health buz is going pretty swell I have been checking out Davey Wavey Fitness Blog and have found some good tips on speeding up my metabolism- woo hoo! I have run home from work 4 nights this week and still not had a cigarette- I have been drinking 4 bottles of water every day and eating salads and lots of other fun healthy things. I think the thing that is making this so fun is that everyone in my house is getting in on it- Paz is well fit and kind of puts me and Joey to shame but its good because when i run with Paz I run a lot harder than when i run with Joey- I think I have this thing where i dont want to look weak in front of Paz so I push myself a lot harder which is good coz normally Im good at talking myself out of shit like that.

Number two- I have been meaning to tell you this for a long time- like since i left for my Xmas break...

Theres this guy Iv been fucking on and off for the last couple of years- BIG penis - possibly the biggest one Iv ever seen- hes also convinced hes still straight but just likes cock every now and then- even after two years of gay sex with me. He is also possibly the BEST kisser I have ever had which I think makes him a lot more appealing since I pride myself on my kissing abilities. Anyway- we were SMSing on the drive up to Xmas and for a while now he has been saying he wants a 3some with me and another guy and then out of the blue I get this message at 3am in the morning:

"Are you awake? I have some great news"

Obviously nothing wakes me when Im asleep and I dont check it until Im in the car and on my way to the family the next day so I ask what is up and he tells me hes found another girl to have a threesome with us- Apparently she thinks two guys fucking is hot. We talk about it alot and being pretty liberal on things of this nature Im keen to give it a try- hell if the vag thing doesnt work out at least thers going to be another cock to suck. So i get back from the holiday and I get this random message:

"hey its jes- the chick that wants the threesome. How are you?"

So we start txting and shit and she suggests we hook up without him once or twice and im like;

"Hes told you Im gay right?" and I get-

"I have an ass too you know"

I was like jesus way to cut straight to the chase! Anyway This whole conversation got me thinking- what if Im bisexual? How often does that really happen that someone comes out as gay and then finds out they are either bi or straight even?

Imagine the mind fuck your parents would have to go through!! Mine would go spare- Mum told me she was relieved when I came out so I think she would think I was mad if I told her I likes pussy again. Funny thing though is that when me and Mum were driving together- keep in mind we talk about most things- she asks me if I have ever had second thoughts about being gay. It was as if she had read my freaking mind!!! I never once told her about this girl or this threesome (I mean come on- some things you just dont say!) But it was crazy! Anyway - Gay male... quite possibly about to have some vaginal intercourse- luckily I have done it before otherwise I think I would probably have a break down when the time came! I was talking to Woody about it the other night on facebook and he wished me luck which I thought was sweet and hilarious. I forget sometimes that some gays haven't had straight sex at all in their life.

When this happens you can expect a full update on the happenings because I am sure it will be eventful as hell!

Oh in other news my friend thats in the Army over here has decided he wants to try cock- I have been teasing him about it for years now as a joke and it finally came out the toher week and he wants me to be the one to "pop his cherry" since Im the only gay he knows lol. Fathom this for me though- straight army guys quite masculine- one would expect him just to want to fuck the hell out of a guy and maybe get his dick sucked and thats it... Not Denny- he wants to be fucked. I was so surprised my this- turns out you cant judge a book by its cover!!!

Anyway I am sure there is more but I am so tired right now I can barely think straight (mind the pun).

Hope you are all well :D

xoxox

Sex... No Sex

I just woke up and I'm kinda tired-So the coffee with David didnt go according to plan. He wanted to change the time because of his job but I already had other plans. He was genuinely sorry and I kept saying that it was fine and we had all the time in the world to meet up again and I kept getting these cute SMS's like "But I really wanna meet up... this isnt ideal" so I thought that was cute that he REALLY wanted to see me since we haven't really talked too extensively since I got his number.

In other news: Date number 2 Zane came over last night. We had planned to go out for dinner to this really cool Sushi place but we were both a bit fucked. He's in to theater and had a costume party the night before with the cast from the show he is in... I saw photos on facebook and honestly I have never thought Prince (or the artist formally known as...) was attractive- but Zane looked damn sexy! So we decided to just make sushi at mine and watch a movie. 

Now we have done the whole "movie at mine" bit in the past and for some reason I was never on my game and hesitant to make any kind of move. But last night it all just kind of happened like it was something we did all the time. We watched the movie in my room and lying on the bed we just kinda snuggled in to each other like it was the most normal thing on the world. After the movie we had about 2 hours of foreplay. Im still not sure if you can call it foreplay since it didnt really come before anything. He said he didnt want to sleep with me last night which I thought was a really smooth move! Kinda new territory for me but I went with it. Eventually we just ended up tangled up in this really cute cuddle after the everything-but-sex and I must say it was kinda nice knowing that I could not have sex with a guy who was in my bed for a change! FYI Im a way better kisser than him :P Don't get me wrong- hes really good... Im just better

ANYWAY I only meant to come on here to show you my Christmas Wish List

1. Albums by both Jay Brannan and Julia Nunes- I have always loved the both of them but always seem to forget to find them when Im on iTunes. Also I found out Jay was in the movie which brings me to number 2

2. 'Shortbus' where hes in this gay threesome and you basically see everything.

3. Tickets to BDO so I can see MIA live- shes my all time favorite artist!

4. I would like my Credit Card debt to be paid off- its not even a large debt... I just keep putting it off so I can buy shit I dont need like this glass computer desk when I already have a perfectly good one to use.

5. A new job- basically I have found myself in a field of work that I dont enjoy (Telemarketing) in a position I despise even more. Im a manager at the tender age of 21 which is pretty cool but its not where I want to be- and for the position the pay isnt even that good. Also why the hell do grown men and women insist on acting like complete children? Honestly some days I feel like a fucking school teacher!

6. To know that my parents are looked after. (Oooh getting to the real deep stuff now) Me and my sister moved out a couple of years ago to join the real world and since we've been gone I always worry about them. They've always had some form of company (i.e. our cat Polly and dog Abby) but Polly got put down 2 months ago and Abby, only last Friday. (I got my mum a cat and dog Pandora charm for Xmas)... so now its just to two of them I always worry that they get lonely.

7. A bigger penis  bed. Dont get me wrong Im not rocking a single or anything silly- I have a queen but I want a king or super king- Im about 6 foot which should mean that I have plenty of space but my feet still hang off the end! (Also FYI Im about 7.5 inches which Im happy with- Surprisingly Iv only slept with 2 guys who were bigger than me and they were massive!)

8. A new car. Mines nice but I dont like the color- and sometimes it squeaks which Im not a fan of.

9. An iPhone- just cos'

10. World Peace....

HAHAHA only joking! I honestly cant think of a tenth one

- rest assured thanks to my new follower I have a whole bunch of new post ideas so you will be seeing a bit more of me!! (YAY)